Salutations!! It has been what feels like forever, since I even thought about writing. Or even had the means to do so. I've taken several rides on the life-o-coaster, and I'm still finding my footing. So now it's time for a bit of this and that.
I chose to end my six year relationship. It was time. What an experience that was. I honestly didn't think it would go the way that it did. But I finally stuck to it and let go. I think the detail that stands out the most about that particular life event is that one of the last things my ex said to me was "please don't talk badly about me to other people". Regardless of the tumultuous nature of our time together, I deeply respect this individual. So, amidst tears and broken hearts I solemnly promised not to say anything unkind. What a fool I can be, and complete load of total bullshit that was. Turns out I am not deserving of that same kindness. Anyone that truly knows my heart knows just about how much I deserved to be talked about that way. However, no matter how you look at it, I've got my freedom and nobody making me feel small anymore. So, all around win for Chandra.
Next month is my favorite month of the year. Both of my beautiful children were born in June, and it's also Pride month. It's so packed full of goodness I spend the whole month feeling like I could just burst with happiness. And holy crap do I have such extraordinary news about my kids!! Chelsea is living her life. Having experiences, making choices, being her amazing self. Never a dull moment with her, and that's one of my favorite things about her. She's such a whirlwind of personality and snark. Which I mean in the nicest possible way ;) Christian has been busy growing into a wonderful young man, right before my very eyes as well. He is without a doubt one of the most remarkable humans I know. I am in constant awe of his mind blowing intellect, deeply rooted sense of compassion, and inner drive to be the very best version of himself that he can be. Enrolled in college for the Fall term, getting ready to start his next chapter too! He's just spectacular. He told me just the other day that not only am I his Mother, I am also his best friend. I think my heart nearly exploded!! I am definitely blessed with the two most miraculous children anyone could ask for. They will be 18 and 20. I cannot believe it. My job is done. I don't feel but 17 most of the time myself. How I could possibly have grown children is a total mystery to me.
Then there's Pride!! Our community gets to be our flamboyant, colorful selves and celebrate all of our victories for a whole weekend. And this is a huge year for us. Last year the great state of Minnesota voted in favor granting same sex marriage equality. So this year the mass commitment ceremony will actually result in legal unions! Yay :) So much over flowing goodness all over the place in June.
I think one of the bright sides in choosing to get on with my life was in discovering yet again, who my "real" friends are. I was so pleasantly surprised at some of the ones that chose to stay. People that I've grown to love quite dearly over the past 6 years. It's been really groovy, overall, connecting and having long conversations with my dearly loved friends. I can honestly say that I truly have the very best friends, and that I know beyond a doubt that I would not have gotten through the last 2 months without them holding me up. Nevermind the generosity of allowing me to take up space on their sofas and in their spare bedrooms. You all know who you are. My life is so completely filled with people that love me, exactly as I am, it blows my mind every day.
I lost 80 pounds!! A smallish humans size. Yowza. Partly due to my rockin self control where carbs are concerned, and partly due to loss of appetite from the enormous mountain of stress I have hovering over my head. Pretty much constantly. But however I did it, I am SO excited to rock this body all summer. Finally have my hair the way I wanted it for years, and now I can have a groovy ass in some low rise capris too. Again, WIN for Chandra.
I have lots more to say, but I think I'm going to call it for this round of gabbing. There should be one or two more posts before I get quiet again for a while. Thank you, dear readers, for taking the time to read all about my new chapter. It means a lot to me that so many people care what I have to say. You have all helped more than you could possibly know, in reinforcing my self love and acceptance. It's totally acceptable to walk into walls and talk to yourself. But most of all, embrace yourself, as is.
I hope you're all enjoying a pleasant evening, and wake up to a tomorrow filled with hope and possibility. Thank you for stopping by My Side of the Looking Glass.
'til next time
Chandra :)
I love this.
ReplyDelete