Just One Of Those Days

I think there ought to be a remedy one can take at the onset of "One of those days". When you open your eyes in the morning and just know, beyond a doubt that someone is going to say something, and it's going to devastate you. Now mind you, this person will have no ill intentions, is probably someone dear to you, and would never hurt your feelings on purpose.
These are the days when we reach for the remote and turn up all those drown-out-your-misery songs and eat your body weight in junk food. Or in my case chain smoke and drink 2 pots of coffee. Which extra sucks, as I have cut way back on how much I smoke. Drat.
I think the biggest challenge by far is making some semblence of coherent sense of all the rambling nonsense in your head. "Do I look fat?" "Have I been an attentive Mother lately?" "Is my partner happy and content?"
In the light of a rational day most of us would happily thump ourselves in the forehead and give ourselves a stern talking to for being so hard on ourselves. Wow. That sounded really ridiculous. Writing in the 3rd person looks bizarre!
Even as I am writing this I am going over all the random crap in my head and pondering just how much soul to bare this week.
It has been a BIG week for me. I experienced an epiphany, which led to this huge spur-of-the-moment decision to make some drastric changes within myself, thus leading to ginormous changes in my life. I am absolutely happy with said changes, and sticking with them. However in the aftermath wrapping my mind around them is kind of breath-taking.
I am a much stronger girl than I'd thought. And, for the record, I knew I was pretty strong. Turns out that when push comes to shove, I am totally capable of walking the walk. That and doing whatever it takes.
Now if I can just absorb it all. There should be a "pause" button in my head. I think most folks would like a "rewind". Not me. Every mistake I've ever made has gotten me here. To this moment. And there have been some mind-blowingly amazing moments in there. They absolutely outweigh the crap ones. (not that I would for even one second want to do any of it over again!)
Ok, time to suck it up and get my dishes done. Here's to hoping the radio plays nice.