Today was a turning point for my lil family. I honestly didn't really know what to think I would feel on this day, when thinking about it, eons ago. My beautiful, brilliant daughter spent her first major holiday with her biological father. The culimination of this day has come and passed, and it went really smoothly.
Somewhere in the neighborhood of sixteen years ago I was pregnant with my first baby, and getting ready to pop! I had my Mom, family, and a handful of close friends to keep me company and remind me that I could in fact "do this!". The individual that had unwittingly blessed me with this precious baby had moved on, to the best of his ability. For the record, I had mostly written him off and forgiven him, as much as anyone with horrid acid reflux and the loss of being able to see her feet can do. Granted, I was not naive, nor had I gotten into the situation against my own will. I chose to have,keep, and raise my baby. With or without his input. I was feeling strong, independent and determined to give my daughter everything.
Life has been interesting for us. I have to give my family a whole lot of credit for being there for us, and being willing to make sure she had as much as we could possibly give to her. Over time things were bumpy, to say the least. Our family as a whole went through more than anyone should have to endure, but the fact is that it's a New World out there and things are tough for everyone. My beautiful baby girl and I were blessed to be surrounded by people that wanted to see us succeed.
Fast forward to the present, approximately 6 months ago. With just a bit of luck, the goddesses of fate provided my daughter with the opportunity to find her birth Father online. His Facebook, to be exact. What are the odds?? Seriously. She asked me a few questions to verify that it was him, and I knew beyond a doubt that she'd found him. This meant life was about to change drastically, yet again.
At first it seemed he wanted to be a huge part of her life, make up for all that time he'd lost. Yadda, yadda, yadda. He also managed to dissapoint her at pretty much every opportunity. He would blow off her text messages, not call her back, and make her feel less-than, whenever he could. Little did I know or guess that he and his whole family were actually prepared to work for her trust. I believe from the bottom of my heart that his Mother, who resides on somewhere near to my side of the rainbow, needs, wants, and misses my daughter in her life. She got a total of an hour with my baby when she was 2 weeks old, and that's more than enough time to fall in love with any baby, let alone your Granddaughter.
My daughter went to her first holiday with that part of her family today. She was caught off guard right away just by the invitation. Then she had to make sure that myself, and the only Father she'd known for 16 years would not be upset with her for wanting to make plans with that family. I can only speak for myself, but it stung. I wanted to object, but how? The fact is that my beautiful baby deserves to have every part of her family actively participating in her life. However it may have made me feel, they are her family. She needs them in her life.
So, at around 11 a.m. today, my baby was picked up by her other family, and left for her first holiday barbeque with them. I was incredibly nervous for her, and wanted very much for the day to go smoothly for her.
I didn't need to worry at all.
They made her feel completely included. Her birth Father took her to the house he and his fiance have purchased. They showed her windows, told her things about the neighborhood, and she and her half-sister built a fort out of the left over boxes from the miscellaneous boxes left behind from the building of the house. It was made very obvious that she is wanted in their lives. After the tour of the new home they all went back to his Mother and her Significant Other's home, and they had dessert. She was also presented with a diamond necklace that it would take me a years' worth of paychecks to buy. Around that same time she noticed that among the photos framed on her Grandmother's fireplace was the one of her as a baby, the only one I'd ever given her Father. I love that her Grandmother never let go of her. My daughter deserves at the very least that kind of devotion.
The best part the this experience was, for me, the conclusion. My daughter came home, shared with me all of the events of her day, and was just sincerely happy to be home. It gave me a whole lot of peace of mind. Our home was filled with laughter, conversation, and love for several hours this evening while we all settled in and got ready for our weekend to come to a close. All of us contemplating our plans for tomorrow and finishing up enjoying today.
This chapter of the Looking Glass is dedicated to seeing what's best for people you love, even if it's not necessarily what you would choose for them. You can't always foresee the sunshine and rainbow,sometimes it just breaks free if the rain with no warning at all.
Thank you for visiting My Side Of The Looking Glass. I hope your tomorrow is filled with beautiful diversity as well :)
